Hellraiser on Elm Street
by Kevin F. Pickett
Summary: Pinhead and Freddy Krueger go head-to-head.


"Hellraiser on Elm Street"

The room is dark with the smell of fermented mold and burning flesh. The only light is coming from a furnace in the corner. A table adorns the room in the center with two adversaries sitting at either end. The taller pale one is a Cenobite General from Hell. He is affectionately known as Pinhead. The little squirrely offensive fella is the infamous child murderer Freddy Krueger. Pinhead looks around the room and then focuses on Freddy sitting opposite him.

"I chose a location for familiar and pleasant for you, but I added my stylish chains and flesh ripping hooks for effect. Do you object?"

Freddy adjusts his seat and looks down at his knife laden glove. He scratches the edge of the table with the middle finger knife and then quickly pulls it up for Pinhead to see.

The Cenobite is taken aback by the jester. "I acquiesce with your pain and frustration." Freddy leans back with a grin and says, "Welcome to my world pin boy."

Pinhead stares for a moment and blinks in recognition. "Your suffering with be eternal and I will be immortal just to witness your defeat."

Freddy starts to shuffle in his chair and turning his head rapidly like a free puppet. "I am the king of nightmares. You should bow down. Before you do so, can I ask a question?" Pinhead leans closer to Freddy.

"Do they call you Pinhead because of the pins in your head up there or the head down there?" That comment hurled Pinhead into a frenzy.

"Do I look like someone who cares about such trivial pursuits?"

Freddy embellishes with full laughter. He looks under the table at Pinhead and says, "Trivial? Must be small."

The two fiends hover their hands over the table in a mystic shuffling fashion.

Freddy puts his knife hand to his mouth and coughs the word, "Boring."

Pinhead stares deeply into Freddy's eyes and says, "This was your idea. I had rather torturous ideas myself, but this will suffice. You're next."

"I know, I know. Kids are better at this then me. I pass."

Pinhead rolls his eyes for a moment, "How about you tell me about your run-in with that hockey mask fellow."

Freddy perks right up, "Oh you mean Jason."

"Yes that one."

"If I knew he was deformed I wouldn't have taken the job. He was a cute kid before he drowned."

Pinhead yawns, "Drowning is not suffering, and it is merely a pastime recreation. You know what I mean. You like the true forms of pain, fire and metal, just like I do."

Freddy points a finger at Pinhead, "Ya see? That's where we agree. Make all of them suffer, I say."

"How right you are."

Freddy frowns for a moment, "I guess it's back to me again. So I heard they wanted you to take care of that Myers guy. Any truth to that?"

Pinhead snickers and then explains, "Forgive my laughter. This was another case of a child's mind in a man's body. You would like him. They wanted him to suffer and he was already suffering eternally. I was the perfect choice. Alas, Hell did not have a place him after all. His life's ambition was to go straight to hell. Pity"

Pinhead looks up to the ceiling. His eyes are gazing passed the structure and apparently into the abyss of sky and heavens.

"God is without irony in these matters. He truly is the ultimate enemy. Hell is more ordered. There are no lies. We hold ourselves up to high standards."

Mr. Krueger open his eyes wide at Pinhead. "I don't know if I should laugh or clap at that comment."

"When you get to hell you will know which is more appropriate. Kind of an inside thing. You have to be in the know. Now, back to Mike. He wasn't tempting enough to me so I declined the offer. The big guy was willing to lure me in with six figures. But money has no value in Hell. I am a true dweller of my domain. I practice what I preach."

The room starts to shake and the table rumbles in the hands of Pinhead.

Freddy tips his hat to Pinhead and says, "Sorry if that's a sore subject?"

"Sore feelings would be pleasure for me. God does not matter. On to more pressing matters. Did you know it was Nancy who asked that we meet?"

Freddy looks with concern, "No, I didn't know that. That little bitch needs a spanking from Uncle Freddy."

Freddy eyes one of the rusty hanging chains in the room, "Can I use one of these? I'd like to put chain marks up and down her butt and tell her how naughty she's been."

Pinhead crosses his arms and says, "She is now a lady. A woman with full potential for suffering. What you describe is uncivilized. You remind me of that chainsaw fellow. He has no proper manners. He needs a lesson in etiquette just as much as the idiot in front of me."

"Was that directed at me?", Freddy scowls.

Pinhead rolls his eyes, "You are starting to bother me. Alas, your defenses have withdrawn."

"I'm just getting warmed up baby. Freddy is about to take the house."

The darkness and mist slowly rises from the room to reveal a chess board on the table. Pinhead moves his queen two spaces from Freddy's king. Freddy has no other pieces on the board except his king. Pinhead is missing no pieces and has managed to only use his queen and a few pawns to defeat Freddy's board game army.

"Unfortunately our time has run out and we have come to the conclusion of our game. Check-Mate!" Pinhead stands up, raises his hands and the chains hanging in the room come to life.

"Your board game skills are pathetic. It is time for round two in this game called Bully Beatdown." The chains swarm over his head and from around his body.

Pinhead speaks in his ominous voice, "You're Cenobite application has been denied. You never should have never tested your skill at the Lament Configuration."

"The what?"

"The puzzle box you foolish imp." More blood ridden chains swarm in the air.

Freddy falls out of his chair to guard against the snake-like chains. The chains flail in the face of Freddy has he frantically cuts them down with his bladed glove.

"You promised me a fair chance. You can't do this. You-you, powder puff S&M bitch." More chains go into action and are too many for Freddy to cut them all down as they wrap around him like a cocoon. The hooks rip into his face to complete the wrap around his body.

Pinhead pauses the chains for a moment, "Yo momma!"

Freddy manages to say a few words with the hooks pulling at his flesh, "I've survived worse."

Pinhead tugs at the chains and blood and guts shower the room and all that is heard is the screams and cries of little children. Pinhead walks out the door and whispers to himself, "I hate pedophiles."

The End.

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Deleted Scene

It was intended to be 3 rounds and Pinhead's chains being the third. I deleted the original second round below.

Just when Pinhead says, "It is time for round two is this game called Bully Beatdown."

The door opens and entering through the mist are two guys. "Let me introduce Rampage Jackson and Chuck Liddell. They are here for the two on one MMA fight with Freddy Krueger." The mist lifts from the air to reveal an official UFC octagon surrounding them. A microphone is lowered into the octagon on a chain. Pinhead grabs the microphone and says, "There is no referee so you may proceed when ready." Freddy springs into action drop kicking Chuck while scratching Rampage across the chest." Rampage growls for a moment but says, "He fights like a girl Chuck. Let's show him how we do it in our world. Chuck jumps onto Freddy's glove arm and pulls him down into an arm bar while Rampage grabs Freddy's feet and twisting him into an ankle lock. Freddy looks like a pretzel. Chuck and Rampage eye each other and next you hear multiple snaps and pops in Freddy's body. They drop him like a rag doll and walk to the side of the cage. Freddy crawls with one arm to the opposite wall while snapping his bones back into place. He pulls himself up on the wall of the cage and stands ready. He reaches down to the mat for his hat and slickly puts it on like Indiana Jones. He winks at Chuck and Rampage and they both look down while laughing. When they look up Freddy is in between them with one hand around Chuck's throat and the knife hand in Rampages gut ripping his insides out all over the ring. Chuck is in shock and starts to puke on the mat on Rampages intestines. Freddy grabs the microphone chain and pulls it around Chuck's throat and squeezes until Chuck's eyes pop out.


End file.
